It’s not the end yet …

 Many more are yet to be seen

Many more are yet to be done

Perhaps it’s just a reminder to count the sin

And settle the accounts with the higher One

It’s not the end yet

Let little children live

Stop hurting their little body

Stop taking their noble soul

Stop getting hands bloody

For a mere human anger haul

It’s not the end yet

Let young girls live

Stop tormenting them

Stop killing them

They are more than flesh and blood

Realize they have a heart, they feel pain, and they do get hurt

Stop being a beast with a heart of iron rod

Start living as a man instead of a pervert

It’s not the end yet

Let nations live in peace

Stop terrorizing

Stop brutalizing

Let other live with the little they have

The little they know

The little they wish

The little they hope

Its not the end yet

Preach peace instead of war

Give hugs instead of punches

Plant roses instead of making guns

Smile instead of stare

Love instead of hate

Nurture instead of torture

Foster instead of master

Live instead of kill

Breathe instead of taking breath

It’s not the end yet

For love and peace to reign

For kindness and love to sustain

For smiles and joy pour as rain

It’s not the end yet

To make the world we are in

A better place beyond mere pleasures & gains ….

Today ….

It’s not the end yet …..

                                                                                                                        Suren

Thinking Beyond the Vision

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein

Scenario : A aristocrat & wife had a dinner function, both went and left the gardener alone at home, at the dinner, the wife lost her interest and left home, being back home earlier than expected, she entered the house and noticed the gardener was in the living room, the gardener was shocked to see her be back too soon, The wife stared at him for a moment and then instructed him to follow her up to the bedroom, once inside she looked at him knowing that he was guilty and afraid … She approached, pointed her finger and told him to take off her dress …..

(What are you thinking???)

Once the gardener had done taking off her clothes, she told him;

“Don’t you ever wear my clothes again!”

(Did you get it?)                                            Story source: A sharing on a friend’s FB wall

I bet what you thought!! As the above, we often think only up to what we see and very few go beyond what we see unless we are forced or if the issue had managed to catch our interest. Anything we see are prone to our ability to perceive which by definition is “becoming aware or coming into sense” but this condition i.e. “Perceive” isn’t an ultimate or an absolute for what we “see” just like when we see a tip of an iceberg, we perceive it is just a small iceberg but to understand that it is just a tip and it may be larger one needs to “Think”

Thinking is a crucial tool to digest, understand, and react as it makes one to be clear and accurate over the issue or incident one see’s, judgements which are based on what we perceive may not be accurate and any decisions made without thinking results only in loss or failures.

Today in the era of IT development we tend to “see” more than we “think”, we tend to believe and react to everything that we “see” rather than thinking about it. What we “see” may just be a symptom it has a root cause which need to be tackled, what we see may at times be something fake done to propagate foe certain gains, what we see may be just be a grand slander or conspiracy which only requires a little thinking to be understood yet we react hastily based on what we see and in the end make up a wrong ultimatum perhaps

In everything we do today, be it in a relationship, be it in decision, be it in a profession, politics, etc. we tend to react to what we just “see” compared to thinking over it in prior this is the reasons of hasty decisions, arguments, debates, problems and so forth which in the end leaves us in despair…

Thinking is truly something crucial as thing changes the way one reacts and makes decision this saves nations from ending up being exploited or slandered, thinking enables one to gain more information compared to perceiving, it enables proper judgement, comprehensive evaluation of facts, figures and practicality. Thinking also free individuals from reacting in a pattern bounded by emotions, social norms, sentiments, biases, personal views and so forth this opens route to a more matured and uplifted world view of individuals.

Let’s take heed and at every situation hereafter do take a minute or two to “think” beyond what is seen, it saves a million troubles and issues!!

12-12-12 perhaps a date which ends the repetitive dates could be remarkable date to anticipate “Thinking” ….

                                                                                                                                                          Suren    

A thought on true inner peace !

Educate or Accommodate ?

If you have 2 kids fighting over a candy what would you do ?

Possible solution;

1.       Buy the other a candy so that both have a candy !

2.       Teach them to share the only candy available !

Which solution  is more impact full to the kid ?

The first solution is rather common and preferable to any one, but then without us realising the first solution is an act of accommodating, whereby it is a solution which resolves the issue easily without much hassle.

This solution no doubt resolves the issue but it results to a few impacts. Firstly this solution jeopardises the opportunity for the kids to learn and anticipate on “sharing virtue”, it also had given the kids a hidden message that when they fight over something, they would get more of it with ease.

The kids will also condition themselves with the believe that they can easily attain whatever they want by just creating an issue or demanding for it, furthermore in this scenario the kids may look at each other as a rival henceforth !

The second solution, The educating solution however creates a learning curve  to the kids in learning the virtue of togetherness, virtues of simplicity, virtues of sharing and brotherhood rather than grasping on rivalry or becoming more materialistic.

Like the above there are many issues  that we tend to “accomodate” rather than “educate”, by doing this we are crippling the possibility for one to learn, to know and grasp on what is the right, what’s a better option or in short a better decision making skill.

Educating provides umpteen opportunities to learn as it broadens the mental scope over the issues related rather than the accommodating methods which constrains the mental capability within the perimeters of the issue related for instance,

When a kid often forgets his / her water bottle, buying a new bottle every time they lost it (accommodating) only affirms his/her forgetfulness and develop a sense of latency over losing the bottle but rather punishing and explaining the importance of remembering the water bottle (educating) is rather an act which develops the sense of belonging and responsibility in him/her.

Overall accommodating results to limitation and educating opens the route to a better learning curve, both methods does offer solutions and remedy but the point to remember is that both method creates impact which is rather positive and negative thus a wise choice is highly required. This does not only apply for parenting but it also applies to leadership and organisational behaviours where decision making, sub ordinations and problem solving is related.

Accommodate or Educate ? Whats your call ? look back over your problem solving, what have you been doing ? Accommodating or Educating ?

Suren

Sharing a thought

   Pic source : google pictures 

“LGBT” an issue of perspectives …..

“LGBT” an issue of perspectives …..

By suren

 

 Very much has been said and disputed by many on related to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender or better known as (LGBT) issue, for sure it is a fact that today the number of individual who knows the meaning of these words must be vast than it was perhaps about a few years ago.

Much debate on the LGBT issue and the debate have also been quite interesting and at times provocative when it is related to certain sets of neither individuals nor groups. Fuel is added to fire when the LGBT issue is also cooked up along for political gains of certain parties to gain their popularity but to genuinely have a say in this issue one should understand that it is in truth not an issue of itself but rather a matter of perspectives.

Why much fuss over the LGBT now when it has existed right towards 9660 to 5000 BC? Yes, LGBT has been around since golden years yet it has been discreet and only took centre stage when the rights movement started gearing on it back in the western countries through the 70’s. Currently LGBT receives all the bashing’s due to various reasons but primarily of the effects it is believed to bring which is societal degrading via social problems, diseases and other aftermaths. Nevertheless one may perceive that it may bring more harm than good yet one must understand and justify any issue in the best and comprehensive way possible, so it is with LGBT. One should understand what actually the problem with the LGBT issue is.

Being that the scenario, LGBT is a problem for many due to the perspective they use to look at it! This is the fundamental problem which causes the debate over LGBT. There are many perspectives to view LGBT and each varies the result from one another.

A person or personality is developed from a few concrete factors such as;

Image 1

Looking at the graphic explanation, one should be able to understand that The Basic Biological Human (the man) is influenced by factors consisting Family, Laws , Social, Religion, Society, Culture, Education & human rights / dogma’s / ideologies in and towards becoming who he is. All these factors overlapping the human himself to make up an identity which may be of socially pleasing or may be a social outcast based on their very personal experiences and elements of factors.

Image 2 

In image 2 one can clearly watch on how does a person develop and comes into becoming a person or a personality, the factor elements shows how a person is influenced towards what he becomes as an end product gliding towards culture and the society which plays a role like a bottle neck where accepted values and pleasing personality easily glides out as a “person” accepted by norm and those who doesn’t gel with the societal culture would go through frictions or debate and end up being a social outcast 

LGBT related individuals are in no exclusion from the above development and an addition to them is that there are debates of saying that their condition may be an effect of biological deficiency that would be a contributing factor of the biological human being i.e. the self, for instance, when this individual (a male) is born or raised in a family of much number of female siblings (factor 1), raised with just minimal religious teachings factor 2), given the adequate education (factor 3) and chances to be friends with a set of similar social group (factor 4), irrespective of the laws applied he may tend be of a transgender due to the contributing factors

Problems arise today when individuals are sceptical on the LGBT and they tend to justify it only on certain perspective and most commonly in a religious perspective which surely forbids and strikes out such abnormalities. Looking at LGBT from the perspective of human rights, ideologies or certain dogma’s may give an opinion of direct contrast, looking at it with an educational perspective may shed a more neutral light but as a common set of rule we usually look and justify issues based on a societal culture as this would always been established and proved to be a yardstick to measure norms and abnormalities.

Thus being so clashes among perspectives are the root cause of the debate rather than the issue itself, as for LGBT it may or may not be a biological issue but it is proven that individuals have been born in such ways and it has existed from ancient times but the crystal clear fact is that it may not fit in certain culture and norms based on the mass thus acceptance of the issue should be done by all parties based on their self-perspective and imposing the self- perspective on theirs may not be a smart act but knowing that the issue may be an ill fit to the societal norm, all efforts to be taken to prevent cropping of such “cultural abnormalities” without maleficence to any party may be welcomed and supported in contrast of mocking, jilting and debating on the issue this would beef up the solution and better understanding over ways to deal with LGBT

Suren

Self hypocrisy  ...

Sounds interesting, that’s the term i can come up with was thinking about the issue of being & doing in contradiction of what we claim ...

Remember the new year resolution ? remember the “from today on wards I am ...” I am never going to...., over my dead body will i ......

Familiar phrases ? 

We are often againts evils, devils, spirits or ghost’s but what are the movies topping up the box offices or local cinemas ? why do we pay to get scared and watch the evil & devils which we want to stay away from our lives and be brave forever ?

Do we trully mean what we say & do, Do we trully walk the talk in our lives, mere matters proves that we practice self hypocrassy; such as when a situation is bad we conclude it saying “headache” over the matter though there is no pyschical pain in our head at all !

It may sound petty but when we are used to the self hypocrassy, we tend to develop the habit of faking our selves or to be precise we tend to become hypocrites towards our wills & practice even worse we start living lives of imagination and the reality would be of contrary to what we intended yet we tend to live so !

Do we mean it when we say it ? Are we really againts it as we said ? Are we practising what we planned & learned ?

There is a saying which goes “it’s easier said than done” and i guess this is the best saying which applies to the term of self hypocrassy ! many of us today,we tend to just say things as we wish but never are we concerned of living up to what have we said , we have accepted this mistake willingly when done by politicians making them feel it’s a norm them to do so..

We should inculcate the younger generations on saying only what they mean, doing only what they intend truly, wearing things which trully means something to ensure their lives aren’t meaningless ...

Lets go againts self hypocrisy ... live a meaningful life !

  

Bing pictures

“Moderation”… the path to perfection 

“Too much” of a good food could turn into poison” – Indian Proverb

It is truly dear to write on this topic as pondering on it gave great relevance over life and the factors of happiness & resentment! Added with information grasped from the resent Wesak day program on TV; Buddha – the life of Siddhartha Gautama though it was an animated program it did create an impact.

The gist of this article is about the word “MODERATION” which seems to be a word looked least upon and also labelled as a word against the “Optimist”, but least do people understand that this word contains the secret for inner peace and calmness.

Today man’s life is full of hassle & bustle, rush, race, envy, materialism, secularism and many other elements which are against moderation and these are the killer elements of inner peace but then it is disheartening that this has become the life style of many of us ! How many of us today could go to bed without thinking of work, that deal which we really need to get it signed, that file which needs to be updated, that report which need to be submitted, that dream car we want to buy and show it off to neighbours ....

Sadly these have taken more shares of our life’s pages compared with touching our baby’s feet with our cheeks, watching them walk for the first time, looking at raindrops flowing, playing in the rain, watching a flower blossom, today some doesn’t even have time to catch up with a peaceful meal on time ! Which are factors for today’s illness & ailments...

Where then comes inner peace? Well many have substituted it to wealth and posh luxury and lavish life forgetting that getting it requires hard work but sustaining it requires sacrifice of inner peace at times, now moderation isn’t against wealth or luxury but only against greed whereas being greedy and being optimistic are two different qualities separated by a very thin line ... The optimistic achieves the wanting for a reason but the greedy achieves the unnecessary for purely fame or bragging purposes

Too much of something or “anti-moderation” contributes to two results which is dependency and the other is disappointment these are the two “D”s in life which causes resentment, pain, anger, mental illness, hopelessness etc. which if looked back is root caused by the wanting of too much. It can be for materialistic items, feelings; love emotions food or what’s or ever, think about it when it is too much it is sure to bring harm... a clear cut evidence look at what drug does when taken beyond what is needed?

Take a moment to truly think about anything which can’t do harm when it is beyond moderation? A genuine answer will be none!

Realizing this fact will set one’s quest for happiness free as the inner peace is the true answer and to attain it the best way would be by living with moderation, the world is always enough for every living soul and it is rich enough to bless men with riches when one lives with a pure heart and moderation,

Siddhartha Gautama took journey towards finding this truth till he attained the revelation which made him the Buddha

Knowing and understanding that moderation is the key to inner peace will enable us to attain the genuine inner peace by overcoming greed, envies, and secularism and nurture humanism inside us ! 

Let take heed in applying moderation in our modern life...

Eat, love, live, buy, keep, give, take, save, cry, play, spend, enjoy, work, sleep at MODERATION.... 

                                        "Pure Selfishness is cruelty in a subtle form" ....

Looking around the society today, Selfishness lurks amongst most individuals and it is disheartening to see this ! a few question arises when selfishness is seen in action, such as; 

1. Why individuals behave like they are fighting for the last piece of happiness on earth & they have  to grab it by all means ..

2. Why do individuals assume that they are the only living soul living on earth and they 

     deserve all the best and profit and others aren't worthy of it ? 

3. Why do individuals behave as if they are at their  greatest loss of their life time and it 

    leaves them to become incapable and poor whey they let someone else  move forward 

    by sacrificing a little of their own time or opportunity !

Now look at the questions intensively ? Have you ever wondered the same? Have you experienced the same ? 

The fundamental answer for this questions is "selfishness", selfishness live in most person but what matters is that it should not overcome the basic humanistic values or virtues inside men such as kindness, compassion on others and so forth ! Selfishness when it overpowers virtues then it creates an habit of ignoring the fellow human beings as a result we see rudeness, taking of advantages on others etc being a norm, sadly this is the swelling scenario of today and even disheartening is that the society instead of altering this for good is condensing itself to get adjusted to the act of selfishness...

prolonging with this will surely result to the death of humanity and civilization ! Men would eventually start killing each other for their personal gains, just look around and notice selfishness lurking around ! Best place to see it is on the roads, shopping malls and public places! 

Damage ha been done, thus the society alas we have to take heed in repairing it by educating the upcoming generations to be against "selfishness" and inculcate on kindness, brotherhood, compassion etc .. this has to be done to ensure a better tomorrow 

No man will be able to live by himself and the world is never insufficient for all on the face of it ! the insecure feeling from the illusion that the world is never enough for all ...

Lets take heed to adopt humanism and its virtue and eradicate selfishness for a better & genuine life as it should be ! 

“Regret” … a foe rather than a friend!!!

"We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." Jim Rohn

Many matters affect the psychological well being of mankind which causes man to become incapable of functioning to his fullest potential to reach great heights of achievements. One of the most destructive of those matters is for sure “REGRETS” ….

“Regrets” are in real the firmest tool of negativity to cultivate incompetence in the positive man's mind … having it in the minimal amount for the purpose of reflecting on mistakes would be fine, but it has to be banished quick with positivity if it is not, Regrets takes charge over the mind feeding on feelings like guilt, helplessness, depression e.t.c vesting negativity firmly in the mind

Regrets has the tendency of giving a pleasurable feeling when hold on too long just like holding a rose with thorn for days where the pain of the pricing thorns gets deluded by the rose aroma yet the scars and blisters would be hurting and at times may be fatal too in this case fatal to positive mind set

Many fail to understand the actual purpose of regret which is mentioned earlier but rather cling to regret for long, some even hold on lifelong turning it to despair .. Apart from creating a reflection over the done mistake regret does not serve any other well and good purpose. Do think about it with the question of “Can regretting solve the problem?” It is for sure a No!

Yet many tend to be regretting for life.. Instead of amending and moving forward, this traps and bounds their positivity and capability to attain better and greater achievements ! Upon tumbling on a mistake or an issue one should only give a minimal room for regret and a larger chuck should be given to positivity, the regret should be neutralized by positivity and efforts should be taken to amend, correct or make well of the issue if vice versa is done then the doer is getting himself/ herself into a trap of negativity inviting the feeling of despair and disappointment which ends up creating a negative mind incapable of achievements i.e. a life long of lamenting & resentment !

Holding on to regrets only creates more regrets… moving on with positivity creates a healthy mind and great success ….choose wisely!

“Maturity” the missing piece …..

“A little boy was watching a fully grown butterfly struggling out from its cocoon, feeling pity over its struggle, the little boy tried to ease the struggle of the new butterfly by cutting off the tip of the cocoon ,eventually it had helped the butterfly to crawl out …………….But then the butterfly due to its easy exit from the cocoon, did not stretched its legs and wings in the way it should have turned out to be incapable of flying for the rest of its remaining life span”

Story source: Anonymous

The above may be a simple story yet this is the current scenario amongst adolescents today where it is much clearly seen that their maturity is missing, being pampered by comfort and luxury young ones tends to develop a mentality with fake beliefs which is against maturity and rationality i.e. reality such as ;

- Life is all sweet, simple and nice

- Everyone is friendly, easy going and caring

- The self matters the most

- All issues and troubles will be taken care of by someone else

- All things comes easily

- Friends will be around forever and mean the most in life

- Parents & Family are “providers” and will be so forever

- Freedom is the ultimate need

- Everyone must understand the self and treat the self very nicely

The stated are just a few simple of immaturity which is a load more than that, these are commonly the immature beliefs amongst adolescents, the contributing factors for this immaturity may vary in many aspects but it can be narrowed done to a few such as

1. Parenting

Just like the opening story, parents tend to be very protective over their children making them to provide every single thing at the child’s foot step making them to be retarded in survival skills, soft skills and people management skills overall in maturity since everything have been done well and good for them, there is never an opportunity adolescents to learn and things on their own, as a matter of facts even birds & animals train their young on the survival skills despite being protective. The only curve where adolescents develop the said skills are among their friends / peers which are none the less in the same exposure thus there is nothing much to be learned

2. Education

Education process is supposed to affirm and up keep the necessary values developed from the parenting but in some situations today education plays the role of being a remedial factor for mal-parenting but unfortunately the dilemma is that today education is much commercialised and it is provided in a moderation which does not contribute much amongst adolescents to develop on maturity but rather it a puts them in a stagnant development and to make it worst it affirms their condition by making it possible for them to get to the next step i.e. awarding the adolescents with academic papers but not on a mutual growth or a balanced growth i.e. a half cooked situation

Education process should be functioning as a buffer zone in preparing adolescents in attaining the maturity and sound mind towards tackling and managing life and profession

3. Friends / Peer Circle

As the saying goes, birds of a feather flocks together, the peer group are often established with the similar kinds thus immature groups are membered by immature adolescents which never or rarely embark on attaining maturity which contributes in affirming the immaturity day by day and eventually never do they get matured just like a bud remains a bud rather than blossoming into a beautiful flower

4. Experience

Lacking of experience actually inter relates in all other contributing factors whereby it is clearly known that experience is the best teacher, adolescents today never does learn from experiences as they are never exposed to experience in the first place, being the apple of the eye of parents, teacher and friends it contributes to the comfort rather than the experience which may be hard but indeed a great teacher. Just take a reality check, have a chat with a person you consider as very matured and take note on their experiences, and also do the vice versa, you’ll know what is the fact

Maturity is a key for many to excel in work, family and life all together; Maturity comes a long in life with a package consisting of survival skills, soft skills, leadership skills and so forth which are essential for one to be successful and balanced in life

Employers today are having going through hell to find far from employing a matured and competent staff as most individuals in the work market comes with immaturity and are condensed with the irrational belief’s stated earlier. This makes them incapable to perform at work since reality is against those belief or to be precise, “reality is against immaturity”. Those sustaining the hardship in swallowing the reality pill curing the immaturity are the very few which becomes assets to the organizations the rest are just bad apples who tend to job hop being a rolling stone which collects no moss i.e. experience till they find a place which suits their immaturity best

Gist of the entire topic is that each and every one should bend over the backs to inculcate maturity amongst young ones today, since there are the successors of today’s leaders in the future. Inculcating their maturity is eventually the act of saving the nation against disaster in the future and creating a sustainable human capital

“Growing in age is merely nature’s task but growing in experience makes the man have a mark …”

“Making things happen with Positivity” …..

An old story goes:

An Entrepreneur who built his empire through the sales of shoes intended to expand his sales Africa, He got 2 of his salesman to survey the market in Africa, After some time the entrepreneur checked on them on how would the market be in Africa for their shoe sales and they soon reported to him

Salesman 1: Hi Sir, There is no market opportunity here in Africa as no one here wears shoes!

Salesman 2: Hi Sir, There’s a huge market opportunity here as no one here wears shoes

Story Source : MSN

It may be a simple story yet it has a powerful message on positivity, Note the 2nd salesman ! He’s the kind of person whom every employer wants to hire, every young ones want to look up too, every follower wants to have as a leader and the best of all, and HE’S THE PERSON WHO CAN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

To get things happen according to our wanting will have a load of distraction, resistance, hindrance & etc to offer ourselves a package of FAILURE! What all these minor traits are offering is a strong potion of negativity which is for sure to weaken down positivity when indulged with and the end result is a guaranteed failure to one who do so!

This is simply how things work, The positivity creates positive energy and vibrations which makes it possible for goals and wanting’s which are truly wanted (irrespective of good ones or bad ones) come to the self and this is vice versa too i.e. Negativity creates negative energy which with the vibration attracts unwanted things in life

To explain this in an even detailed scenario observe successful or rich individuals, normally they tend to attract more and more success and riches since they are always on the positive thoughts as they have tasted the positive energy from the success and the poor or the failures will consistently attract poverty and failure since they tend to be in the negative vibe by practicing negativity based traits like lamenting, regretting, self-pity etc.

Ever noticed "complainers" will always have new things to complaint whilst successful individuals consistently record success after success ? This is done by being in the same vibe, Now success stories are created by remarkable individuals who shift from negativity to positivity in simple words.

An individual can be in 3 different state of energies which are ;

1. Positivity – Life is all about possibilities to grow and create success after success, Negative elements such as disappointments, failures, sadness etc. would never harm individuals in this energy. They would tend to create success story at every given opportunity

2. Neutrality – Individuals who are not big dreamers, they tend to live in moderation, minimal success, no need for inspiring others, minding the self ‘s day to day life. These individuals often stay stagnant in life not achieving great success but being moderate, the risk is these individuals could easily slip away to negativity when failure strikes as they do not have the positivity to overcome negative elements such as the positive individuals

3. Negativity – A total opposite of the individuals who are positive, tend to be complainers, mourners, high sense of hopelessness, external locust of control, low self-esteem and prefers to be in the negative elements such as being in a melancholia feeling and ambiance and having a sense of pleasure in it, subconsciously enjoy being pitied and hates being advised or motivated but only prefers others to listen to their lament or wailing

Knowing this one should know which energy should be a friend and which is a foe, in a nutshell, Positivity brings one to somewhere great and makes things happen, Neutrality brings one to nowhere and it does not make great things happen and negativity is sure to bring one way down and make failures consistently happen

Indulging with the right mode of energy and it’s components using the right thoughts, mental reasoning and being in the right environment / company ensures the justified outcome i.e. positivity to makes things to happen!

“If you THINK you are weak, then you are, weak in thinking positively”! Suren

“Irrational Belief…

What do you think of the following words?

Should have….
Supposed to …
Have to ….
Will be ….

At one go if a person were to be asked if they have an “Irrational Belief” the question would be answered with a big and concrete NO..NO …
But when it is well explained and looked deep into person Irrational Belief do lurk in them and it do impact their lives to a certain expect but what matters is how much it impacts a person though !

Many too when said Irrational Belief, they seem to understand on what is said of superstitious such as the black cat crossings, dreaming of a snake etc. but those are clear cut irrational beliefs which are known and it does not affect the daily lives as much as the hidden irrational belief which develops inside a person as a system

Thanks to Albert Ellis who came out with the helpful theory focused on Irrational Belief and how it affects the individuals in their daily lives and also Ellis had come up with a great theory on how to deal with issues pertaining this irrational belief system which is called the Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT)

Irrational belief works in a way where when someone preoccupy their mind that the matter dealt with is supposed to be in the way which he / she had learned and knew it should be i.e. conditioning the mind in normal terms it is taking things for granted for an example study the scenario below;

Amy is stressed, when asked why she is stressed, her answer;

Amy: I am stressed because my father doesn’t seem to understand me, he never allowed me to go for the movies with my friends
Buddy: You said he doesn’t understand you just because he don’t allow you for the movies ?
Amy: Yup he should know how much I want to go for a movie with my friends; He should understand my feelings and respect it ….

Now what you think of Amy’s statement? If you think the father should understand her then you are on the same boat with Amy perhaps!

The catch here is Amy’s last sentence … Note the word Should if you were to answer sincerely do you think the father SHOULD KNOW HOW MUCH ANY WANTS TO GO TO THE MOVIE and the father SHOULD UNDERSTAND HER FEELINGS ?

This is Amy’s irrational belief whereby she preoccupies a belief that her father should know how eager she is to watch the movie and how her feeling is when not allowed, now the father being a total different individual with a totally different roles and experience would not know what she feels nor how eager she is unless she takes her time to explain it clearly to her father but pre believing he would do so and when turned down is her mistake and the stress she is having is a result from her very own self irrational belief mixed up with emotions …

Now this how many of us are caught up with irrational beliefs and we had made it a system to think and react by saying it should, it must, supposedly, It would have, by right… by all this we are affirming and reacting to an irrational belief which satisfy the self-pity and negative emotions and in the end it makes one to feel in despair nor disappointed. Who should the blame go to?

Many must first identify the irrational beliefs they are living with and rectify them by disputing in prior only then the truth can be accepted and digested to attain the feeling of life is fair and just and this would provide a way out from stress, emotional pains, disappointments, resentments etc.

The next time when the word should, must, supposedly etc. is used ensure to justify it without self-interest and used it genuinely and not to reaffirm the irrational beliefs preoccupying matters which is beyond our control according to our personal wanting and understanding is an act of unjust which lands the self in disappointment ...

“Untangling Counselling” ….. By suren

A common scenario:

A: What did you studied for?
B: Counselling
A: Wow, then I got problem can come to you
B: Why is that?
A: to get some advice ……

It is never a shock to hear a common statement that counselling is for people with problems and the counsellor is someone who gives advice! It makes me wonder, does that mean a counselling graduate had studied 3 or 4 years in varsity on only how to advice others ?
The numerous misconceptions over counselling had urged a calling to untangle the tangles on the noble profession of counselling...

To begin with, Advise: is a common opinion of an individual over a situation or event given to others which can be done quite commonly by anyone based on their very own knowledge and experience

Whereas Counselling : is a guide form of assistance rendered by a trained professional counsellor to the client agreed upon in a professional etiquette based relationship under the basis of certain theory & techniques towards helping a client to reach a level of better or developed cognitive / thinking capability for the comprehensive development of the client’s self

The definition would rather self-explain that counselling is a totally varied with advice thus an advice can never be quoted as a counselling session. Advice doesn’t normally is a form of a suggestion from the advice giver this is in total contrast to counselling which focuses more on the clients self-thought towards a solution

Counselling has been a victim of misconception due to its complexity which is equivalent to its nobleness. It is due to this complexity that many fail to understand what counselling is in real. Counselling had been developed from the need of mental health attention post world war 2. Counselling is situated under the giant umbrella of psychology whereby an counselling is an applied psychology since it shares the similar techniques and theories excluding the chemical & biological factors such as the issuance of drugs done by the clinical psychiatrist.

counselling focuses more on mental or the cognitive aspects of a person to assist them in realizing their situations, the outcomes and the best options they have without hindrances from irrelevant matters such as emotions, surroundings, false beliefs & misconceptions and much more. This is done by a strategic assistance of certain Theories such as the psychoanalysis, Rational Emotive behaviour therapy, gestalt and much more. Further from the theory numerous techniques are also co-used in counselling services which are derived from the theories mentioned, just to name a few are like, “the empty chair technique, the taught stopping technique, sculpting technique, disputing technique, breathing techniques and much more …

Complicating it further Counselling has a numerous branches from it each focusing on specific segment of help such as Career counselling, family counselling, substance abuse counselling, group counselling, Crisis Counselling, Child Counselling and much more as for the studies for counselling too is varied with the said types of counselling as their specifications and a few other variants such as counselling psychology and so on.

Any counselling service will be based on certain theory which will have the fundamental philosophy towards human development and the counselling services will be based on a professional etiquette started with an informed consent and developed with a systematic progress working towards the resolution of the issue acknowledged

Counselling is thus a noble profession with contributed and developed by many great people from around the world for the only purpose of assisting individuals towards attaining their optimum in mental health and wellness. In Malaysia counselling has 2 major bodies to administer and govern it’s progress and monitor its quality which is the International Counselling Association of Malaysia aka PERKAMA International & Lembaga Kaunselor Malaysia which registers Counsellors and issues the licence to practice counselling

Many should take up the initiative to understand the profession and services of counselling and acquire the best benefit from it rather than clinging on the assumption that counselling is the act of mere advising and sharing of opinion and it can be done by anyone.

Further information about counselling :

http://www.perkamainternational.com/index.php?id=1&mnu=1
http://www.kpwkm.gov.my/web/lkm/


Towards the acknowledgement of the noble counselling profession …………….