“Irrational Belief…

What do you think of the following words?

Should have….
Supposed to …
Have to ….
Will be ….

At one go if a person were to be asked if they have an “Irrational Belief” the question would be answered with a big and concrete NO..NO …
But when it is well explained and looked deep into person Irrational Belief do lurk in them and it do impact their lives to a certain expect but what matters is how much it impacts a person though !

Many too when said Irrational Belief, they seem to understand on what is said of superstitious such as the black cat crossings, dreaming of a snake etc. but those are clear cut irrational beliefs which are known and it does not affect the daily lives as much as the hidden irrational belief which develops inside a person as a system

Thanks to Albert Ellis who came out with the helpful theory focused on Irrational Belief and how it affects the individuals in their daily lives and also Ellis had come up with a great theory on how to deal with issues pertaining this irrational belief system which is called the Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT)

Irrational belief works in a way where when someone preoccupy their mind that the matter dealt with is supposed to be in the way which he / she had learned and knew it should be i.e. conditioning the mind in normal terms it is taking things for granted for an example study the scenario below;

Amy is stressed, when asked why she is stressed, her answer;

Amy: I am stressed because my father doesn’t seem to understand me, he never allowed me to go for the movies with my friends
Buddy: You said he doesn’t understand you just because he don’t allow you for the movies ?
Amy: Yup he should know how much I want to go for a movie with my friends; He should understand my feelings and respect it ….

Now what you think of Amy’s statement? If you think the father should understand her then you are on the same boat with Amy perhaps!

The catch here is Amy’s last sentence … Note the word Should if you were to answer sincerely do you think the father SHOULD KNOW HOW MUCH ANY WANTS TO GO TO THE MOVIE and the father SHOULD UNDERSTAND HER FEELINGS ?

This is Amy’s irrational belief whereby she preoccupies a belief that her father should know how eager she is to watch the movie and how her feeling is when not allowed, now the father being a total different individual with a totally different roles and experience would not know what she feels nor how eager she is unless she takes her time to explain it clearly to her father but pre believing he would do so and when turned down is her mistake and the stress she is having is a result from her very own self irrational belief mixed up with emotions …

Now this how many of us are caught up with irrational beliefs and we had made it a system to think and react by saying it should, it must, supposedly, It would have, by right… by all this we are affirming and reacting to an irrational belief which satisfy the self-pity and negative emotions and in the end it makes one to feel in despair nor disappointed. Who should the blame go to?

Many must first identify the irrational beliefs they are living with and rectify them by disputing in prior only then the truth can be accepted and digested to attain the feeling of life is fair and just and this would provide a way out from stress, emotional pains, disappointments, resentments etc.

The next time when the word should, must, supposedly etc. is used ensure to justify it without self-interest and used it genuinely and not to reaffirm the irrational beliefs preoccupying matters which is beyond our control according to our personal wanting and understanding is an act of unjust which lands the self in disappointment ...

“Untangling Counselling” ….. By suren

A common scenario:

A: What did you studied for?
B: Counselling
A: Wow, then I got problem can come to you
B: Why is that?
A: to get some advice ……

It is never a shock to hear a common statement that counselling is for people with problems and the counsellor is someone who gives advice! It makes me wonder, does that mean a counselling graduate had studied 3 or 4 years in varsity on only how to advice others ?
The numerous misconceptions over counselling had urged a calling to untangle the tangles on the noble profession of counselling...

To begin with, Advise: is a common opinion of an individual over a situation or event given to others which can be done quite commonly by anyone based on their very own knowledge and experience

Whereas Counselling : is a guide form of assistance rendered by a trained professional counsellor to the client agreed upon in a professional etiquette based relationship under the basis of certain theory & techniques towards helping a client to reach a level of better or developed cognitive / thinking capability for the comprehensive development of the client’s self

The definition would rather self-explain that counselling is a totally varied with advice thus an advice can never be quoted as a counselling session. Advice doesn’t normally is a form of a suggestion from the advice giver this is in total contrast to counselling which focuses more on the clients self-thought towards a solution

Counselling has been a victim of misconception due to its complexity which is equivalent to its nobleness. It is due to this complexity that many fail to understand what counselling is in real. Counselling had been developed from the need of mental health attention post world war 2. Counselling is situated under the giant umbrella of psychology whereby an counselling is an applied psychology since it shares the similar techniques and theories excluding the chemical & biological factors such as the issuance of drugs done by the clinical psychiatrist.

counselling focuses more on mental or the cognitive aspects of a person to assist them in realizing their situations, the outcomes and the best options they have without hindrances from irrelevant matters such as emotions, surroundings, false beliefs & misconceptions and much more. This is done by a strategic assistance of certain Theories such as the psychoanalysis, Rational Emotive behaviour therapy, gestalt and much more. Further from the theory numerous techniques are also co-used in counselling services which are derived from the theories mentioned, just to name a few are like, “the empty chair technique, the taught stopping technique, sculpting technique, disputing technique, breathing techniques and much more …

Complicating it further Counselling has a numerous branches from it each focusing on specific segment of help such as Career counselling, family counselling, substance abuse counselling, group counselling, Crisis Counselling, Child Counselling and much more as for the studies for counselling too is varied with the said types of counselling as their specifications and a few other variants such as counselling psychology and so on.

Any counselling service will be based on certain theory which will have the fundamental philosophy towards human development and the counselling services will be based on a professional etiquette started with an informed consent and developed with a systematic progress working towards the resolution of the issue acknowledged

Counselling is thus a noble profession with contributed and developed by many great people from around the world for the only purpose of assisting individuals towards attaining their optimum in mental health and wellness. In Malaysia counselling has 2 major bodies to administer and govern it’s progress and monitor its quality which is the International Counselling Association of Malaysia aka PERKAMA International & Lembaga Kaunselor Malaysia which registers Counsellors and issues the licence to practice counselling

Many should take up the initiative to understand the profession and services of counselling and acquire the best benefit from it rather than clinging on the assumption that counselling is the act of mere advising and sharing of opinion and it can be done by anyone.

Further information about counselling :

http://www.perkamainternational.com/index.php?id=1&mnu=1
http://www.kpwkm.gov.my/web/lkm/


Towards the acknowledgement of the noble counselling profession …………….