A dead fly in the honey ....

A dead fly in honey makes the the valuable honey to loose its value & even though the fly fell into a nutritious & delicious "honey" it eventually died !

Insights to ponder : 

1. Be Wary of Whom You Associate With, the wrong person around us would most times degrade your self value & worth, just like the fly degraded the value of the honey ...

2. Too Much of Anything Is No Good, if deeply observed, everything in life is all about levels, too little salt makes food taste less, too much salt makes the food inedible & even harms the health whilst the right amount of salt makes food taste right , so it is with emotions, being too calm invites  hurts & bullies, on the other hand being too aggressive hurts others & invites conflict but having the right level of assertiveness  saves & secures us as a person , too much love invites disappointments & whilst too little causes loneliness, moderation ! Moderation ! Moderation is the key which assures our well being, comprising safeguarding us from psychological harming .. just like the sweet "honey'', which was way too much for the fly to handle & eventually the honey killed the fly !

3. Getting What You Don't Deserve Is Harmful getting what we don't deserve should never be assumed as being bountifully lucky or blessed, its common for us to want more or get what would be pleasurable to us, yet getting the wrong thing or getting what isn't worth for us may comes along with its effects, positions we are don't qualify for, power which we are not ready for, social status which we are not right for and so forth would eventually backfire & bring us down ... just like the house fly which is commonly associated with filth & dirt getting its feet into the precious ''honey' had' eventually caused its 'life'...   

#lifereflections

Management Lessons : Identifying Work Culture

Management Lessons : Identifying Work Culture...

Scenario : there is a room within the org which is dirty, brooms & dust pans & all items required to. clean it is available, yet....

some doesn't clean it as they claim they are yet to be instructed to clean it. they don't want to get into trouble doing something not told though its something good & right to do... (followers, unpractical & non proactive work culture)

some refrain from doing it claiming its not their task, but chooses to clear cobwebs instead, as that's their designated job, though there are no cobwebs at all... (work culture with no sense of belonging or altruism, avoidance work culture)

some refrain from cleaning it claiming they are loaded with many more things to do...(self centric, calculative & imbalanced work culture)

Someone chooses to do it & tries doing it, but the others mock & label the person willing to do it as a 'show off' or poyo making the person also not to clean the room...(perception prone & unproductive work culture)

a few who knows that its necessary to clean it as its impacts the org's impression,volunteers to clean the room but they are not allowed to do so by their superiors as its not their specific task...(unproductive & rigid workculture)

the remaining staff spends time debating on who should clean the room...(non constructive, finger pointing work culture)

some bosses are sad that a room is dirty & it's not being cleaned but does. nothing about it...(weak leadership work culture)

some bosses are not even aware that there is a dirty room & someone should clean it, some staff too doesn't know of the dirty room issue ( non participative work culture)

some staff agrees to just off the lights & shut the dirty room's lights to resolve the issue thus nobody knows or questions aboutbthe dirty room & claims to focus on other works... (brush things under the carpet work culture, lack of integrity, sense of belonging & just ensures no one knows anything & pictures like all are fine)

boss rolls up the sleeves, identifies those who are capable of cleaning the room & gets down together with the team & gets the room cleaned (participative & team spirited work culture)

a group of staff irrespective of their roles gets down & get the room cleaned without being told as they don't want a bad impression over their org (proactive & sense of belonging, high alturism based work culture)

boss finds out about the dirty room, screws the hell out of all the staff, and a few gets the room cleaned with hurt & frustration...(dependent & unproductive work culture)

boss knows the team which is supposed to clean the room but knows they will not do it & would give various reasons thus boss identifies a team which would follow orders & gets them to clean the room & the obedient team does while the supposed to clean team laughs & boast on it (poor leadership & unbalanced work culture)

boss & fellow colleagues informs the designated team to clean the room but they refrain to do it & doesn't give a damn about it.. (disapproval behavior work culture)

Everyone in the org ensure the room is cleaned applies preventive measures to ensure no room gets dirty or be unattended in future (proactive, participative, team spirited & constructive work culture)

work cultures are crucial as it determines the entire performance & functioning & well-being of an organization... if there is anything needs. to go through betterment, it better be & starts with 'work culture'

#learningaboutworkcultures
#apersonalopinionbasedonobservation
#notanacademictheory
#2018bringiton
#tochangestartfromtheculture

Management Lessons : Getting Perfect !

Management Lessons : There were 2 birds on a branch, their wings had just fully grown & they were about to fly for the first time.... the first bird decided it was time to take flight although it had fears of not having any experience of flying before but it was ready to take the shot & said lets do it to the second bird...

The second bird anyhow, believed that they can't fly yet, it believed that they need to understand the risk of falling thus they need to analyze & understand all possible ways of not falling, being safe, ensuring smooth flying, the second bird wanted to first master the art & expertise of flying before they could actually fly....the first bird initially agreed to the second bird & they halted the take off....

After 2 days of observing, analyzing, calculating, flapping practice and so on they were both still on the branch... the first bird finally lost its patience & decided to take the plunge & fly, the second bird was still persistent that they were not ready but the first bird just took the shot though the second bird were furious to stop it...

As the first bird left the branch, it took a steep fall, it used all its might to flap the wings & balance itself, it went up & down, had a few falls, it took a few bumps & blows but still kept trying, it went up, down, down, fall, roll then up, then down & finally alas... it started to leave the ground & get higher & higher & higher & finally it was flying.... it felt the freedom, the cool breeze, the magnificent view & enjoyed its success of 'flying'...

The second bird watched the whole thing & reaffirmed its stand by saying, it was right about not flying, it said all those falls, bumps, blows & rolls could have been avoided if they had been patient & practiced longer, the second bird stayed in the branch and continued observing & analyzing to prepare itself towards a safe, smooth & fall free flying. ..

The first bird bird by this time had mastered the art of flying & had become good at it after all the falls & bumps. ..it is now a pilot with smooth take off's & landings... finally after a satisfying fly, the first bird taught its time for it to bring some exquisite food back from the far lands it has reached back to the second bird & tell it how it is to fly ...

But as the 1st bird reached the branch which they were preparing themselves to fly, it saw the second bird was being picked up by a hunter after it is shot dead... the second bird was an easy target for the hunter as it was not 'flying' & was weak as it never had eaten due to not 'flying' to get food, it was seen as a 'handicapped' bird just as it was not 'flying' thus the hunter effortlessly shot the bird dead...

Moral : 

1. sometimes it's not the analyzing, observing or waiting to be perfect makes you perfect, its the hard knocks, bumps & falls that make you the master as it teaches the 'what not to do' over & above the 'what needs to be done' which comes from the safe learning environment ....

2. It is a competitive world out there & people are waiting & watching over your achievements & in-capabilities to leverage on them, it either makes you to be utilized or sacrificed, thus if you are meant to fly, you better fly at any cost though you may not be perfect, effort matters than the performance...

3. Learn enough, master the basic, overcome the fear & just do it, never be afraid of mistakes & or failures, they teach you & make you better at what you do, as long as you don't do, you wont be able to do what you do best...

4. Perfection can never be achieved but one should never stop reaching for it, its all about the effort, the start, the trying before being the perfect...

#2018bringiton
#reflections

pic source : google

suren

Lessons from the Rock & Diamonds ...

Some people are like rocks & some are like diamonds, The diamonds are precious because its rare among the very common rocks ..thus never complaint about the rocks being common everywhere, their commonness makes the rare diamond precious, valued & stand out ...

Not everyone can differentiate the rock & the diamond & not everyone knows the value of the rock or the diamond thus never expect for people to appreciate you if you are a diamond & never expect everyone to polish you towards becoming a diamond if you are a rock

Some may mistake the diamond in hand for a rock, or they might know the value of the diamond & they might throw it away, Some may pick a mere rock and believe that its a diamond, both will eventually come to realization about which is rock & which is the diamond & also their value, just that by then there will be damage & loss, Concerned others may along the way try to correct their misconception & minimize the loss but the choice is purely of the person's, eventually, experience would be the best teacher

All we need to do is, first, identify if we are a mere rock or are we a diamond, if we are a rock, we need to get ourselves polished towards becoming a diamond through learning from lessons & experience, if we are diamonds, identify the qualities which makes us a diamond & nurture them, appreciate the self & sustain it, never expect others to appreciate or value you, if you found someone as such then, it would be like you being a diamond being attached to a gold, it adds value to you like becoming a diamond ring or necklace, making you purposeful,if you don't find such value adding, be proud of yourself & self sustain since the diamond standing alone is equally elegant and precious, the worse is if you put yourself in the hands which doesn't value you though knowing you are a diamond, they decrease your elegance & preciousness, just like keeping a precious diamond somewhere it shouldn't be, eventually such treatment would decrease your value & end up you losing your preciousness & self esteem ...

Its you who decide either you are a diamond or a rock, others should not decide but would have mere perceptions of either you are a diamond or a rock, that's their right, they may or may not be right, but what you decide matters most !

MAKING WORK HAPPY

WORK … is where we spend a huge amount of our life time, For some work is happiness but for many it’s a boiler room where people seem to drag themselves to and run back when done as fast as possible. Yet a clear fact is that we may never ever run away from      “WORK” …

Recently sharing on a media on how to be happy at work, ran a thought over it & listed a few points on how we can make work happy, didn’t manage to share all points due to the time constraint thus opted to share it on notes to benefit at least a few virtual friends …

To make work happy, one has to adhere to a few simple yet crucial aspect, a few fundamentals are as follows;

ACCEPT!!!                                                                                                                   Accepting is always an issue, at times our expectation may vary from the reality we are in & this is the root cause of disappointments & bitterness, at work we may sometime end up in a job that we didn’t really prefer, or perhaps the job isn’t so much as we imagined before getting into it or maybe we have been doing the same job over & over again till we are condensed to it eventually killing the fun of doing it, the said conditions will surely result in “expecting” something better, this is the key here, expecting something which isn’t there & being in the reality which is in total contrast with it saps out all the energy & wears out the spirit and enthusiasm we have overall making us a battered bitter worker .. Thus ACCEPT the fact and live up with the reality, if it’s too bad to bear then a change option is good, it may sound drastic but then remaining with unrealistic expectation makes more damage …..

     KNOW YOURSELF & KNOW THOSE WHO WORKS WITH YOU

Knowing the self & knowing others will make us clear on how to behave & how to react with others, We could never avoid behaving in a certain way & interacting with others based on their behavior, these are the fundamentals of socializing and communication in any workplace and these is the also the fundamental factors of relationship and communication problems at work, over expectation’s, disappointments, hurt and other ill feelings among workmates eventually making workplace unhappy. Always take up efforts to know our very own personality, know what are our very own likes & dislikes & check if it’s health & constructive, never be surprised that many people don’t have a clear picture of themselves, Don’t think so ? Ask yourself this question: who are you? If you answer your name, there you go, you don’t really know yourself! Pick up skills of understanding the personality of others in your workplace, this will answer the golden question of why he/she behaves that way? When you understand others you will catch hold of how to get the best out of them & how best to respond to them positively. This will eliminate communication & relationship issues at work & eventually make you a beloved person at work! Look up the net or find a counselor to know your personality it’s simple & fun to know & it may take about 5 mins of your time!

     MANAGE EMOTIONS WELL AT WORK!  

Emotion! Can be the greatest thereat for happiness at work, take a simple scenario, you greet a colleague with Good Morning! & unfortunately he doesn’t’ respond, what happens next? emotion comes in, disappointment & hurt strikes in, negative thoughts flow in claiming he hates you, he likes your enemy more than you, he never preferred you etc. result  the entire day is gone in resentment, Actual fact ! He missed your greeting as was in his Bluetooth hearing a conversation! that’s how emotion plays a role in coming up with irrational thoughts & beliefs, not well managed emotions could create much mess making work very unhappy, how do you manage emotion then ? Simple keep them positive at all times & never entertain the negative one’s always LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE!! of anything that happens and always reason things positively ! As this is practiced you would eventually get used to positive reasoning & emotions would be more matured & well managed

   

   CREATE A POSITIVE SOCIAL SUPPORT AT WORK NOT A NEGATIVE CLICK OR A GOSSIP GANG

Always establish a positive support group which is always dependable in elevating your potentials not a group that pulls it down, find peers which are rather positive & realistic in their approaches, keep them as your negativity or unrealistic thought crusher, unlike negative support group which would might give you great lullabies i.e. negativity & push you to a slumber i.e. non performer, a positive support group would always give you a shaker i.e. reality & keep you awake, ensure you have these group of support to encourage, motivate & support your wellbeing at work, although it may be a task to form such a support group but it’s worth a try which would ensure your happiness at work !        

     ELIMINATE UNREALISTIC & IRRATIONAL EXPECTATION

Both in work & life, problems arises mainly from unrealistic or irrational expectations, we ought to expect, hope, & want something which we clearly may not attain or improper to ask for as the result isn’t within our control yet we tend to do it all time along and harvest disappointments and hurt eventually pushing us into resentment or becoming a person with a victim mindset… the common example I love using to describe this would be expectation of employees on their bosses. Many have the expectation that their bosses should understand them!! Doesn’t something sounds wrong there? Which is right? We understand the boss & act accordingly or the BOSS understands us and acts accordingly? Which is a MUST?  The first is surely a must as a work contract which we abide the latter is something that may happen or may not, you may have or may not have an understanding boss, this isn’t a MUST! Expecting this MUST happen will only bring in hurt and disappointment, whatever type of boss you have, 1^st point above: ACCEPT & 2^nd Point above: Understand and behave accordingly this would solve a thousand hurt rather than expecting the boss to understand you which may not happen & end up working with a mind full of wanting & hoping which gets your energy drained leaving you worn out and unhappy at work!!

Surenthiran Pillai 

The weird good & the common bad

 

The weird good & the common bad …Used to share this in my talks & taught of writing about it to elaborate a little further,

We are today living in a world where good values & virtues have become weird and the vice versa has become rather common…

Reading about murder, rape, robbery, baby dumping or a severed baby are all rather common today, we are not surprised to read about inhumane acts and wrong doings of such but in contrast if we were ought to read about a person sacrificing their life for others, donating all their earnings for charity or spend their time cleaning the streets, people feeding the hunger, a common man shelters a homeless and so on, news like these would give us a surprise, amazed or even gawks perhaps it happens due to know that such kindness and values still does exist among people

Put it to a test, the next time you are in a food stall, ask the waiter if he/she has eaten..? High chances they would give you a surprised look as it’s rare for people these days to ask if the food provider has eaten (this can be an analogy which applies beyond food stall context), or pick up a rubbish in a busy street and put it in a bin, anyone who watched you doing it may have a doubt that you have gone bonkers…

This indicates where are we heading to, good values and virtues are diminishing today, people are beginning to accept backstabbing, cunningness, foul play as “strategy”. Greed, pride, arrogance and self-centeredness are misquoted for “drive for success”. Posh lifestyle, lavish spending, luxury beyond capability are understood as “motivation”, Togetherness, family time, bonding, love and spending time together is viewed as “leisure or free time activities”  rich and famous are qualities for an “idol”. Trustworthiness, genuine and loyalty have all become “boring”. Hard work and efforts are now no longer admired or praised. Power, pride and possessions are mistaken for “Peace and happiness” and the list can go on

When we are living in such misunderstanding, life turns into a rat race which opens the route to a mind-set of “all is fair in achieving the comforts in life” where the wrongs are no longer wrong and the right are no longer relevant...

 One with a conscience mind may not entangle him/ herself in this race which leads to worldly possessions but fails a person in things empowering the soul such as genuine relationships, inner peace, calmness, love, care and meaningful feelings. This is the reason why we have religions and cultures to keep one in track but unfortunately today religion and culture too is either dragged into the race or sadly it doesn’t withstand the influence of the said race.  These are reasons for people with conscience or religion to be left out with a “outdated” tag

One may debate as should we leave the race and be losers? Well the issue here is there a real race? Or is the rat race a worldly illusion promising luxury in return of losing the soul …

We should start realizing and straighten what has to be weird and what has to be common, till that we are equally trapped in the “infamous rat race” which causes the good to be weird & the bad to be common …

Parenting – “The clay in our hands”

Assisting many cases mainly adolescent’s teaches much points to ponder & share.  Parenting today is challenging & unfortunately many of us are not aware of it. We are caught up by methods used by parents of ours whom were from a very varied generation or we tend to follow the classic parenting regardless of the current trend or we opt to be better parents by blending in our very own flavour of parenting in accordance of what we think best. But the question is “are we doing it right?”, if we are, its all well & good but then today we have a hike in adolescent’s related issues, crimes & social problems & the adolescents today themselves are facing much psychological distress result from parenting lapses.

 Many parents today unknowingly carry out parenting with many shortcomings  & these lapses are the reasons for youngsters getting off track from what they can become. Parenting lapses today can be associated with mental beliefs & practices of parents in their child upbringing. A few of such lapses are as follows;

I have faced many difficulties in my childhood; I don’t want my children to face the same

The above idea is a fair thought among parents; of course any parent will not want their child to go through any difficulties. Fair enough, but when a child is not allowed to go through some hardship it results them to take life for granted, they tend to grow up not knowing of what is hardship throughout their growing process & they are forced to face the hard reality that life is not that easy after all when they are on their own, by this time if their coping skills isn’t sufficient they tend to burn out or break down due to their inability to accept and deal with hardship. Too much comfort cripples children from being strong at times which are hard. No parent can assure a good time forever for their kids

My child doesn't need to know the difficulties I face

 When a child is not made to understand on what are the difficulties faced by parents in order to bring food to the table, they tend to develop a mind-set that eventually food will be on the table resulting them to again take life for granted. They will never understand that someday it will be their turn to work hard to make ends meet. Growing in such environment shall cause them to be shocked when they are have to take up the responsibility. Children of such upbringing will have issues with commitment, responsibility & leadership & at the worst case scenario they would tend to grow up towards manipulating others to ride on them

For all I do for my kids they will love me & obey me

-          As a parent, if you practice “providing your children with all they want i.e. luxuries, comforts & service with the hope by doing so you shall be loved & appreciated, you are actually changing your role from a parent to a “Provider” the love &  appreciation you will be gaining through this lasts only until you are functional as a “provider” the moment you can’t provide you may not be seen as a parent but rather a failed provider. Expecting children to love, appreciate & obey in return for candies & provision of comfort is a dangerous investment which may not assure any returns as we are dealing with a soul. All efforts which shape them towards being a better person shall assure you the love, appreciation & respect as a parent compared to being a “provider” merely

My Child is good, others are spoiling them

As a parent at times we can’t run away from being biased over our own kids. We often ought to perceive that our child is not so bad after all & they wouldn't have done mistakes so bad etc. The mind-set of: if it’s wrong it’s not done by our kids or others are the fault for our kid miss behavior should be countered by reality. The reality is that : if it’s a mistake, it will be a mistake even if it’s done by our child & they should be educated & taught to take responsibility over their misbehavior. Protecting or defending them over their misbehavior is simply an act of affirmation of their wrongdoings which shall assure of more of it to come in the future

I am busy with work; as long as all needs for my kids are there they will be fine

 Many parents today have this mental fixation to just provide the needs for their kids & by providing all the basic physical needs for their kids they  fix a mental deal stating “I provide you with all you need & wanting’s and in return all you need to do is to study, behave & make me proud”. Well the deal sounds right but it’s not workable as parenting isn’t business to be specific as such. It involves needs which are beyond physical. There is a psychological need from the children which requires parents to sit by them, talk to them, share their views, feelings and ideas, affirm their success, pat them on the back, or even simply say “it’s okay”at their failures and encourage them to try again. Aspects such as bonding, understanding and communicating are the key factors which affirm the psychological needs of children. Those needs can’t be satisfied by providing physical needs, posh & luxuries. In a child’s perspective, a parent’s absence can be so hurtful & impactful  and their mere presence can be so helpful & affirming of their life & inculcate values

Over all, the above said point’s boils down to two cores which are 1. Parenting culture & parent’s attitude is crucial in preventing their children from developing an attitude of taking life for granted and 2.Parents should be functional in supporting and affirming children through their psychological development.  These are the lapses and mistake done by parents today whom is not to be fully blamed as the world today functioning at the rate of good values becoming weird and bad values becoming common. Thus it’s up to a parent to understand parenting comprehensively & take up efforts towards parenting with bearing in mind on what is the outcome they want from their children’s upbringing

If parents tend to condition their children in accordance to the ill ways things are nothing will ever change, for instance, if parents gave a special regards for fast food as something great, children will eventually have the same regard towards fast food & eating healthy will remain a un attractive, reverse conditioning can be done by giving positive regards for healthy food and preference for unhealthy food shall be of least. Eventually the desired shall be an outcome

Children are clay's in the hand of the parents, what would be the outcome from the clay shall be determined purely by the hands holding the clay ………….

Suren